Saturday, February 25, 2012

#DearValentine challenge fic #4: Excision

Darkness became blinding light. I was aware of some pain as my eyes adjusted, but I was oddly detached from it, as if in a dream. Two figures, a man and a woman, stood over me. The woman held the car boot open as the man dragged me out and onto my feet, pulling the gag from my mouth. I heard myself scream, "Help! Someone help me!"

The man said, "Go ahead, scream all you want. There's nobody for miles."

My head turned to look around. We were on an abandoned farm somewhere in the countryside.

"It does not matter. The hive is coming for you." That buzzing voice didn't sound like it should have come from my throat, but it had.

"We won't be here when they do." The woman said, her voice strangely familiar. She was carrying an old-fashioned surgeon's bag in one hand. The man jabbed something into my neck, and everything went dark again.

I woke up in a poorly lit cellar, lying face-down on a table. Some surgical tools lay on a tray next to me. Something shifted inside of me at the sight of them, then there was an uncoiling sensation around my spine.

"He's's trying to leave!" That familiar voice again, an edge of panic to it now.

"Kill it already!" The man said, "Before it..."

I felt a coldness in my neck, and grew sleepy again.

"Too late, the poison, he's...” I heard tears in her voice, “Oh God, Jack..."

Jack? Yes, Jack. My name.

"Just kill it!"

I felt something rip itself free. The dim light cast tentacle-like shadows, and the woman screamed.

Blood splashed across the table.


The last things I heard were the man’s shouts and gunfire, and then all I knew was silence and darkness.


  1. Somehow this doesn't seem like the beginning or the ending of this story. Like we got a window into the middle of some grand struggle.

  2. I enjoyed the POV that this was told from - the unreliable narrator. It seemed initially that the people with the tools were baddies, but clearly they were trying to save him. Drip fed beautifully.